I’ve got a meeting with my boss tomorrow. He’s already given me a hint about a few of the topics to be discussed. And for each topic, he indicated we will talk more about them when he sees me. There may even be more things than that to discuss.
One of these topics involves my pay and my schedule. One is on a procedural matter that may cause me more work. One regards an ongoing problem we must determine how to address. One involves paying for items out of our pockets that should have been taken care of by two other people in two other units.
Four items. Each item has several aspects. Some of these aspects may have been addressed by people further up the chain than those of us in this office.
What if boss says “A” about topic one? How will I respond? How should I plan for this? But what if says “B?” what must I do to account for this event?
Each one of these topics may have two or three follow up questions or comments. Each of which may have two or three different action plans. Each of those may have any number of consequences.
Oh, forget about it. Let’s go to subject two. What might he say about that? How will I respond? And then what?
What about the other topics? Oh, great. Now I have 473 different possible outcomes I must plan for, prepare for, act upon, or decide upon.
My stomach hurts and I have a headache.
What if I’m getting sick? Is something going around? If I get sick, I’ll have to take off work. Who will take care of these items I just mentioned? If I get sick, I won’t be able to take care of my plans this weekend.
Then my friends will think I’m a failure. I’m always sick. I never get to have fun. They’ll think I’m some kind of failure. Maybe I am a failure. OH, God, I suck.
What am I going to do?
I have dreams. I want to chase them and accomplish them. I don’t know how to do it. I don’t know where to begin. What if other people don’t like my dreams? What if they tell me I’m stupid? Will they not like me because they don’t like my dreams? Should I just give up?
If this sounds like you, you are not alone. Hell, this is not even a new problem, something new only to our generation. People have been worrying about things beyond their control since there have been people.
“He who suffers before it is necessary suffers more than is necessary” Seneca (4BCE – 65CE)
My deranged and disjointed prose is hauntingly familiar. We tend to want to think ahead to possible future situations which may produce possible future responses that may involve possible future actions that may create possible future consequences. We tend to let our minds conjure each outcome before the first step ever occurs.
So much unnecessary stress, resulting in so much unneeded anxiety.
Stress and anxiety hold hands while they torment you. They square dance through the great halls of your mind. “Grab your partner, round and round. Do see do.” Other parts of your worried mind play the fiddle.
Yet they are not outside of us. Stress and anxiety are created by us, within us. Our imagination creates numerous possible end results before the first action begins.
“We suffer more in our imagination than in reality” Seneca
When our imagination manufactures stress and anxiety in our bodies, our body reacts in a very real way.
Upon each of our kidneys lies a small gland called adrenal glands. They sit there like little hats. They are reactionary glands; they perform their functions when our mind tells them to do so. They release cortisol, epinephrine, and countless other corticosteroids and hormones. These hormones prepare the body to fight or to run.
The adrenal glands are designed to be buckets, ready to dump copious amounts of hormones and chemicals into our bloodstream upon lethal threat.
Our ancestors would be silently picking berries or tanning hides for clothing when suddenly, a saber-toothed tiger appears. A choice must be made, and quickly. Shall we run or stand and fight? If we run, can we make it to safety? Can the others in our tribe? Who might we lose? Can I climb a tree? Could we all? If none of these are possible, do I stand a chance to stay and fight to protect my family?
All this stress generates a real, physical response in our bodies. Our bodies prepare to fight or run. The liver dumps out tons of glycogen to give the muscles plenty of fuel for whatever plan we choose. Our vision narrows, our breathing shallows, our muscles tense.
Simultaneously, our immune system shuts down, along with digestion. If ancient man was fighting a head cold or digesting those berries, neither of those things would matter much if we don’t address this tiger. We will simply die with undigested berries in our bellies and a full snot locker.
Once our bodies switch over to this kind of functioning, it takes a while to flip back to normal operation.
The scenario I mentioned in the intro is completely different. We treat our adrenals like a faucet, not a bucket. We continually stress and fret about a multitude of things sunup to sundown. Some of us have mental conditions that predispose us to inventing things we should fret about.
Consequently, when our body continues to handle stress, it rarely runs on normal mode. It is always looking to fight the tiger. This means our digestion never returns to normal. Breathing, heart rate, immune response, and circulatory function remain altered every waking moment.
We must learn to turn down the volume on our autonomic nervous system.
Here are a few ways I describe to my clients and students to alleviate the physical symptoms of stress and anxiety.
ONE: imaginary cigarette break.
Have you ever watched someone smoke a cigarette, I mean really paid attention to the act? I have, because I’m weird. I cigarette is a very narrow rolled tube with a cotton (you wish) filter at the end. To obtain all that nicotine goodness, you must suck in the air past all that tobacco, past the filter, and through that narrow tube.
I’ve watched smokers inhale. It’s a two-step process. First, they drag a breath through the cig. Then they pull the cigarette away and pull all that smoke into their lungs.
Let’s try it together. First, purse your lips really tightly. Tighter than that. Like you have to kiss you not so favorite Aunt Ruth. Now inhale. Tough, isn’t it? Keep going. Hurts, huh? Now open your mouth and gulp the desperately needed air. Yeah, it’s a gulp, yah? Pulling a breath into your lungs through a narrow opening is really hard on the diaphragm. It cramps up and rebels. Then you give your lungs what they want, a huge breath. Notice how your diaphragm drops dramatically? Try it a few more times. Pull that tight breath in, then open up and gulp it down. Pay attention, you may even feel a wave of energy going up your back and over your head.
What’s happening is as follows.
Your brain conjures 473 different variables regarding something that hasn’t happened yet.
This sets your hippocampus on alert, which tells your pituitary gland to release some chemicals that tell your adrenal glands to start pumping out those stress hormones. Then the Vagus Nerve starts going on alert. It follows the action of the adrenals. The Vagus Nerve switches off your digestion and your immune system and regulates a couple dozen other processes throughout your body. Blood pressure increases. The diaphragm freezes up and your breathing becomes very shallow and rapid in preparation for fighting.
The action of the cigarette breath dramatically drops the diaphragm, which massages the Vagus Nerve. Once the Vagus Nerve is sedated, the body can begin to return to normal function.
If you’ve ever worked with a smoker, when did they tell you they needed to step outside to “burn one?” Was it when things were running smoothly and all was serene and well? No. They come to you frazzled and frenetic, informing you in no uncertain terms that if they don’t go outside to burn one, they will likely go to prison for homicide.
Unbeknownst to them, it is not the cigarette itself that calms them. The nicotine in the cigarette doesn’t hit the nervous system until halfway through the second cigarette. It is the type of breath they employ while taking a drag that calms the nervous system via biomechanics. The nicotine is simply the dessert after the meal of the breath.
Try this the next time you are contemplating calling your friends to help you move a body. Take the imaginary cigarette break. But, just keep it imaginary. Don’t want to get cancer.
Second. Tune your awareness to all that is within you and without you.
Take an inventory of what is actually happening right now, at this moment, this very breath. What muscles are flexing and relaxing to keep you upright and balanced? Is your weight evenly distributed across the bottoms of both feet? Can you feel your heartbeat? How is your breathing going right now?
Focus on all that is around you. What temperature is the air on your skin? Is there an outdoor breeze or a movement of air from the HVAC system? Is there music playing? Who is talking, and what are they saying? Now, what are they really saying?
Now take your next breath in and out your nose only. Pull the incoming air across the top of your sinuses and down the back of your throat. This requires a tiny adjustment of the base of your tongue. When you have it right you should hear the sound of the wind moving through the center of your brain.
This action does something special too. At the top of the roof of the mouth, within the sinuses, lies the olfactory nerve. It goes straight to the center of the brain without going through the spinal cord first. It runs past 6 glands at the bottom of the brain that act as a control center for all bodily functions. The mind creates stress out of what the eyes are seeing, and sends a message to these glands. They tell the body to either fight or run, or rest and digest. Breathing across the top of the sinuses calms the olfactory nerve and settles these glands down. The olfactory nerve is so powerful that it is partially responsible for directing stored memories corresponding to different odors. Ever smelled a certain alcoholic beverage and had a flashback to that time you got so drunk you threw up? Ever smelled a specific meal and was immediately taken back to mommas cooking? Well this is the nerve can does it; and we can calm it down.
There’s so much more to all this. We could get into the HPA axis (Hippocampus, Pituitary, Adrenal complex, the dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin connection, the chakra system and its emotional connections to the body, and the Chinese Medicine organ emotional storage phenomenon. But I would bore you and your eyes are already glazing over as it is.
Needless to say, our body reacts negatively to chronic stress. As if you really needed me to say this. You all are pretty smart and have heard this a thousand times before. But we can do something about it.
Control your breathing.
Concentrate on the now, the immediate reality. Thinking about yesterday creates remorse and sorrow, thinking about tomorrow creates stress and anxiety. Thinking about this moment negates all that and allows you to truly focus on the important aspects of what it takes to get this job done before moving on to the next.
Never take anything personally. Most of what people say to you has nothing to do with you, but is a reflection of what’s going on in their own hearts. They project their triggered shadow onto you and then let you have for what they saw in themselves. Let it go.
Remind yourself that everyone is on a different path, and usually not on the same path you’re on. Their actions or reactions are based on their prior experiences, much like yours.
Take an imaginary cigarette break; don’t let worry and anxiety crush your dreams.
I always reserve the right to be wrong
Weeg
Joe “Weeg” Weigant is a Board Certified Massage Therapist, Holistic Health Authority, Reiki Master Teacher, Herbalist, Metaphysician, and Empowerment Coach. He combines bodywork, energy work, and coaching to improve quality of life by healing from the outside in and from the inside out.
Weeg sells Nature’s Sunshine Products, Pure Herbs Ltd., doTERRA, and Juice Plus+. Weeg suggests lifestyle changes and provides herbal remedies to his clients so they may build new habits for long life and vibrant health. He teaches Karate and Tai Chi, Reiki Certification, as well as seminars and workshops in metaphysical and spiritual matters. Weeg is available for sessions at Tri State Holistic Wellness by appointment only.
Contact by text 812.568.5356, or Facebook Messenger to set an appointment.
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